@ari - ari's roblox place

@skye i'll try to keep this brief because i'm about burnt out on this discussion: see fedi.arimelody.space/notes/ajc6f169r4vzt3pv. following are specifically my intentions following these discussions.

at best, accepting pedophiles into a community is accepting risk- a risk i am not willing to take in my spaces, especially with them housing CSA survivors. given my last attempt at this yielded no positive change, i consider this strategy out of my hands.

pedophiles who are themselves CSA survivors should know quite well how damaging this risk can be; just because some branched to a path of embrace doesn't make it any less horrifying for those who have sustained intense fear and sorrow. i will only condone those who concede to the horrors that pedophilia yields.

every conversation i've had over the years regarding pedophilia has had the same conclusion: it is immoral and wrong to an unprecedented degree. it cannot be equated to most other morally dubious kinks as those do not necessitate the exploitation of a child. this is a line that much of society has very clearly drawn many times, and one i shouldn't have to reiterate. fiction or otherwise, time has proven again and again that it is wrong.

i have helped fight many culture wars alongside disadvantaged groups over the years. i'm comfortable not being known as a pedophile supporter.

ari

@ari@arimelody.space

4mo

@julia

ari

@ari@arimelody.space

4mo

@natty this is the way

ari

@ari@arimelody.space

4mo

@shadowwwind yeah! the critical part is listening to them, in whatever form that may take. of course, a survivor isn't obliged to tell you their story, but it's so, so important to listen if they do.

ari

@ari@arimelody.space

4mo

re: cw: serious

@solonovamax yerp!

ari

@ari@arimelody.space

4mo

@velvet so i've been told

ari

@ari@arimelody.space

4mo

i appreciate that my opinion matters so much to you. please feel free to ask me about my thoughts on music production, livestreaming, and video games. that's the kind of stuff i have actual stake in.

want to know what to do with pedophiles? ask the people who have survived them.

ari

@ari@arimelody.space

4mo

i've spent absurd hours today answering questions on how i feel about pedophiles. my answer is obvious (👎), but tonight a more interesting question arose:

why the fuck does my opinion matter to you?

why don't you ask the victims who suffer from abuse every single day?

always listen to victims.

ari

@ari@arimelody.space

4mo

questions regarding pedophilia

@skye a lot of questions here but i'll try to hit what i can

i would not condone an adult pursuing a romantic or sexual relationship with a minor (give or take a maximum gap of two years; romeo and juliet clauses are generally agreeable). i would sincerely hope that a pedophile in my circles was seeking help- if so, i would be thankful and supportive. otherwise, i would be in no position to come to their defence.

i understand therapy may not immediately help. some therapists suck; sometimes the attraction is dug too deep; perhaps a specialist would need to get involved. this particular subject is beyond my knowledge, but the least one could do is try.

fiction and art as a coping mechanism is common practice, and valuable in many cases. that said, i still feel extremely uncomfortable with the prospect here. others i know, many of whom are CSA survivors, would also be extremely uncomfortable with the idea. i think it's fair to argue that perhaps fiction and art, while great coping mechanisms for lots of cases, is not universally applicable. minimally, i 100% do not condone such material being shared around, as vulnerable people could be exposed to it and suffer adverse effects.

i have personally attempted to carve out a safe space for someone who was in this kind of difficult situation; who declared a need to use fiction to cope. it did not go well. tragically, i feel it only delayed harm instead of preventing it. my friends were extremely uncomfortable, and i risked substantial reputational damage in the process: turns out it's very difficult to defend someone who's pro-fiction without looking like a complete traitor to your CSA survivor friends.

and i am friends and acquaintances with a lot of CSA survivors. i have heard so many horrible stories from them and many others in my years of living. the concept of supporting pedophiles as any other human suffering from a condition would be noble, if not incredibly naive. the desires of pedophiles appears to land in jarring opposition with the critical safety needs of abuse survivors, the latter of which must absolutely be prioritised. there is no reality in which the sexual or romantic urges of others should be prioritised over the needs of vulnerable people.

i appreciate the desire to reach out and learn, but probing my moral compass, as most dialogue in this area tends to do, sorely lacks an absolutely critical component: listening to victims.

i have the luxury of saying i have not sustained trauma from sexual abuse as a child. so i can ponder and pontificate about right and wrong all the live-long day, but the opinions that matter most, if we actually care about doing any good at all, are from those who have actually suffered.

i fear that this dialogue, while innocent on the surface, lends far too much credence to those who cause the damage, rather than those who suffer from it.